Time to wrap up 2015 and put a bow on it – then hide it under the bed – with our annual trends we hope die post.
If you remember last year’s edition, you’ll remember that I blamed the burgeoning menswear social media landscape for being responsible for the proliferation of, in my view, some of the most offensive trends.
But since we already covered some of the worst Instagram trends of 2015, and since our third anniversary is coming up and I plan to address the state of menswear online in that post, let’s get right to it, sans long editorial setup, with this year’s list of trends we hope die.
The Hard Part
It’s never happened to me, but I’ve heard stories of guys going to get the haircut that I have and having the part shaved in without even being consulted. Putting aside for a moment how terrible a barber must be to not even ask a preference on something like that, can we talk about why this is a bad idea?
I first heard about the hard part a couple years ago and thought that it only seemed like a good idea for the barber, since it would ensure you’d have to come back sooner than usual to get it cleaned up and looking like an actual part.
Since then, I’ve seen it creeping into the mainstream and, beyond the maintenance issues, I think it looks terrible. Cartoonish, fabricated and too perfect. Three things you never want your personal style to be. Unless you’re a Ken Doll.
The Man Bun
It’s interesting that two grooming-related trends top our list this year. What can I say about the man bun, other than that I hope when its adopters look back at photos of themselves that they’re able to laugh instead of just cringe.
The fact that the man bun has inspired the creation of a clip-on version is proof that the grooming gods have played a big joke on guys this past year. Need another reason to not have one (or to lop it off)? Well, it might make you go bald sooner.
Not to be confused with Staged Squad Photos. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have friends. Who doesn’t? But I hate what #squadgoals represents and implies.
First, using that hashtag intimates that you need to have people around you all the time to be validated and to feel good about yourself. But I guess that’s what attention-starved, self-absorbed narcissists need.
Second, it implies that your current group of friends isn’t good enough. I’ll leave it at that.
How happy was I to hear Guy Trebay characterize athleisure as a “slob trend” in his recent piece for The New York Times? Obviously, when any long-held opinion you’ve had is trumpeted in a publication that carries a great deal of weight and influence, it give you a certain sense of satisfaction and validation. Please, let’s retire “dressy” sweatpants – what an oxymoron – and dress like we want to be taken seriously.
The oversized coat trend is one that started to gain steam towards the end of 2015, and unfortunately, if the the collections for the most recent men’s shows are to be interpreted as harbingers of trends-to-come, it’s not going anywhere.
Unlike the man bun, which comes with limited regret – you can just cut if off, though those photos of you sporting it will continue to exist – an oversized coat will come with significant financial regret.
I’m not getting completely down on the idea of changing up silhouettes every now and then, but if you’re going to invest in a coat, why not get one custom made that fits you and will never go out of style instead of blowing that money on something you won’t wear next fall?
Anything to add to the list (or argue with me about)?
He Spoke Style