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What Women Say v. What They Mean

November 17th, 2015

The old adage about men being from Mars and Women from Venus is tiring and dated at best. Men and women should be mature enough to say what they mean because honesty is the foundation of any relationship.

With that being said, women can sometimes be guilty of only alluding to what they mean, instead of the brutal, nearly sadistic honesty we say we crave but could really live without.

I’ve highlighted 10 common phrases that carry hidden meanings/veiled threats as kind of a primer on the fairer sex.

Things Women Say & What Women Mean

“We can talk about this later.”
Translation: We can fight about this later.

“Nothing’s wrong.”
Translation: We’re going to play a little game where you try to pinpoint where you screwed up. It’s like “SAW”, but you’re not locked in a single room, it’s our apartment.

“Where were you?”
Translation: I was forced to spend an entire night worrying about your whereabouts when you didn’t text back. Worry grew into anger, anger snowballed into guilt in case you weren’t actually in the arms of an ex and in grave danger. Then I polished off a bottle of wine and ordered Thai on your card but it’s okay because we’re okay!

“How does this look on me?”
Translation: If you say anything negative I know a lot of other men would find this attractive. And I will find them.

“The function on Instagram where you can see what people have liked is so much fun!”
Translation: I saw you that you liked twenty pictures of girls’ asses.

“Do you think she’s hot?”
Translation: Given the chance, would you sleep with her?

“It’s cool, we don’t need to have a label.”
Translation: Do you hear all the texts coming in from my ex? At least we have a definitive, if past tense, label. And if I remember correctly, he has a much nicer apartment than yours.

“Do you think I’m overreacting?”
Translation: Crazy is in the eye of the beholder.

Translation: You’re dead to me.

Stylishly Yours,

Sarah Solomon

Need more dating advice with a hint of sarcasm? Read more of Sarah’s Humor Me columns.

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Sarah Solomon

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