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Ask An Italian

Ask An Italian Guy How to Charm a Woman

February 9th, 2016
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With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, we thought it an apt time to consult that men’s style icon who also happens to be our resident Italian guy, Giampaolo Alliata, on the finer points of charming a woman. Take notes, gentleman. Love is in the air.

Let’s cut right to the chase… What’s the best way to charm a woman?

I think there are no rules – it depends completely on the woman. But in any case, you should be yourself from the beginning. Eye contact is very important. And don’t talk too much; listen to her. Try to surprise her in an original way.

Flowers: yes or no?

Yes!

Holding the door: yes or no?

Always hold the door! And when I say always, I mean for every woman – not just for your girlfriend.

Putting her coat on for her: yes or no?

Yes. Same answer as holding the door.

If a guy is on a date with a woman, should he always pay?

I think so. I always do. Keep in mind, that it’s not necessary to bring her to the fanciest restaurant in town. There are many smaller romantic places. In Italy we call them trattoria or brasserie. But please pay for her. I think that a man who is generous with his money is also generous with his heart.

Ideal outfit to impress a woman on a first date?

Wear at least a blue blazer. If it is more causal, it’s okay to wear it with jeans and a nice white button-down. Try to be elegant, but always be yourself.

Do you have to wear a tie? No, it’s not necessary. But if you wear one, be sure to wear it with a tight knot – i.e. all the way around the neck – and if it is too warm, ask your date’s permission to take the tie off. Never have it loose around your neck.

Do Italians celebrate Valentine’s Day or is it an American thing?

I personally don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. For me, it’s something that is fake. My advice is to make every day of your life Valentine’s Day!

What would be the best gift to bring a woman on Valentine’s Day?

Call ahead to the restaurant you’re going to take her and ask that the waiter put one rose on the table just for her. It’s important that it’s just one rose. This will be perfect. 50 roses is overkill. Sometimes, it’s better to be simple.

A lot of modern women are very independent and like to say they don’t need a man – they can do things on their own. Is this true, or just an act?

Well, this is very difficult to answer. I personally like independent women, but I am who I am! I act the same way…

Okay, so maybe it’s because I’m too romantic, or maybe because I’m Italian, or maybe it’s because my father taught me a certain way, but I believe that every woman wants to be treated like a princess.

I’m also a dreamer, so I try to date someone who has the same dreams. And then together, we try to make those dreams come true!

Brian Sacawa

Brian Sacawa is the Founder of He Spoke Style and one of the original men’s style influencers. Since 2013, his goal has remained the same: to provide men the advice and inspiration they need to dress well, develop their personal style, and gain more confidence. Brian’s interest and passion for men’s style and luxury watches has led to his writing for The Robb Report, The Rake, and Sotheby’s and he has been quoted on menswear in publications such as The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Today.com, Brides Magazine, and the Huffington Post. He lives in the woods north of Baltimore with his wife, Robin, kitties Nick and Nora, and German Shepherd/Collie mix Charlie.

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